What lies behind that facade?

Affirmations 5-24-12

I am worthy of love.

I am becoming the person I want to be more and more each day.  

I will be successful.

I will be wealthy. 

I may have doubts BUT I choose to trust. 

Wanting and Wishing by Jacques Etienne

All I ever wanted was a smile on your face

All I have ever wished for was for you to notice me

Tired of wanting and wishing 

Wanting you to come to your senses

Wishing you would accept me for who I am 

So I sit and let the melancholy come over me

And I feel nothing but angst every time thoughts of you come 

Those thoughts that leave me shaken

Like a tree in the path of a tempest

My limbs come down and my knees buckle 

Yet you do not relent 

In my head…

So I guess, this is a journal entry.  Every time I look at my bank account, depression takes over me.  Will a day come when I won’t have to worry about money.  I want to be able to travel and see the world, will this ever happen?  I hope by not chasing the greenbacks, they will end up in my pocket. 

Also why is it bothering me so much that Arthur hasn’t texted me or called me back.  I am I looking for validation from my frat brother.  I think I just want him to see, that I’m a great person.  I want to be friends with him.  I want to be in the circle.  I don’t think I’m going to get access though.  In the words of the old Haitian proverb, I have to love those who love me.

“You cover me with your feathers, and under your wings I trust” - Psalm 91